How to Handle the Early Days of Recovery with Your Spouse

If your spouse has given up drinking, you may be forgiven for thinking that things are going to go back to the way they used to be before addiction was an issue. This rarely happens, however. It is unlikely that things will ever be the same as they were before, but they can become better – with time.

Many spouses have unrealistic expectations about what recovery will mean for the family, simply because they have no experience with addiction. The truth is that getting sober is just the first step on the road to recovery. There is no quick fix for alcoholism, and you need to be prepared for things to get worse before they get better.

Patience

Although you have been through your struggles while your partner was in the grip of a destructive addiction, you may need to be patient for a little while longer. Your loved one may not be very nice to live with at the moment as he or she learns how to adapt to sober living but, with time, the whole family will adjust, and things will get back to some form of normality.

Responsibility

It is important to remember that you were not responsible for your spouse’s drinking. Similarly, you are not responsible for his or her sobriety. Your spouse must learn the skills necessary to live without alcohol and is therefore completely and entirely responsible for his or her recovery. You can offer support and love, but it is not your job to make sure he or she stays on the right track.

You cannot change your spouse, and how he or she behaves is not your fault. You may feel sad if your loved one behaves badly, but you should not feel guilty.

Enjoy Life

You need to learn how to be happy independently of how your spouse feels. For too long, you have probably been letting your moods be dictated by those of your spouse. When your spouse was drinking and behaving badly, you were unhappy. Likewise, when your spouse was sober and behaving well, you were probably happy. It is important to remember that you have your life to live and cannot rely on your spouse in order to feel happy or sad.

Start going out with your friends and having some fun. You deserve to be happy, and you need to start enjoying your life again – with or without your spouse. If your spouse is spending a lot of time focusing on his or her recovery, you can offer love and support, but you need to start focusing on you as well.

Addiction is an Illness

Another thing to bear in mind is that addiction is an illness. Your spouse did not start drinking in order to make you unhappy, and he or she is not trying to get better to make you happy. Your spouse needs to want to get better for him or herself. Try to separate the illness from the person and remember that inside is the person you fell in love with. He or she has been through a lot, as have you. Try not to apportion blame because at the end of the day, nobody chooses to be an addict.

If you can separate the alcoholism from the person, you may be able to move on and start a new life together. Rebuilding relationships can be tough, but it is possible, provided there has not been too much damage to the relationship.

Things may be tough going for a while, but recovery from addiction is a long and slow process. However, you are on the right track, and if you are prepared to be patient and want to make things work, you could end up with a loving and caring relationship once more.

This article originally published at Middlegate Blog here

Stop Feeling Guilty for Being a Recovering Alcoholic

Many people assume that those with addictions are bad people. They have a stereotype in their mind of what an addict is, which is often a layabout who does not work or lives on the streets. They fail to realise that addiction can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender and social background.

Alcoholism, for example, is an issue that many individuals all across the UK deal with on a daily basis. Many of these people are high-functioning alcoholics who go to work every day and who are still providing for their families, despite the fact that they have developed a dependency on alcohol.

Alcoholics are not always bad people; however, many recovering alcoholics believe themselves to be bad. They are wracked with guilt about their past behaviour and, in many cases, this guilt begins to eat away at them. It is important that recovering alcoholics learn to let go of the guilt they are feeling and to remember that they are not bad – they may have done some bad things while addicted, but that does not make them a bad person.

Alcoholism is an Illness

It is important to remember that nobody chooses to be an alcoholic. No one in the world would choose to be so addicted to a substance that it becomes the only thing they can think about until it begins to destroy their lives and the lives of the people around them. The truth is that alcoholism is an illness just as the flu or shingles are illnesses. Those affected by alcoholism are no worse than the individuals hit by the flu or shingles.

Alcoholism is an illness that affects the brain. Those who do bad things while under the influence of alcohol do so because of the way that alcohol has affected their brain. Even small amounts of alcohol are enough to affect the workings of the brain. Those who drink alcohol find that their judgement is often compromised. Feelings and emotions are also affected long before speech begins to slur and movement is impaired.

Inappropriate Behaviour
Alcohol often affects people’s ability to determine what is right and wrong. In some cases, those under the influence of alcohol may have some idea that something is wrong but they will ignore it and carry on regardless. Alcoholics often act aggressively or display inappropriate sexual urges. This type of behaviour is completely different to the way the person acts when sober.

Violence is often displayed by alcoholics, and domestic abuse is quite common in homes where one person suffers from alcohol addiction.

You are Not a Bad Person

It is important to remember that alcoholics have no control over the way they act. As mentioned above, they have developed an addiction to a substance that alters the way their brain works. If you are in recovery from alcohol addiction, you may be feeling guilty about the way you behaved when under the influence of alcohol. This is natural but there is no need to keep beating yourself up about it. As long as you can make amends with those you have wronged, you should be able to move forward and begin enjoying your life again.

You do not need to wallow in guilt for the rest of your life. You are not a bad person because you were alcoholic. Feeling guilty will only drag you back down and prevent you from making the most of your new sober life. Provided you stay clean, you can be sure you will never hurt anyone in that way again. All you can do is show your loved ones how sorry you are.

Get FREE Help & Advice Today, Please contact us for information on Alcohol rehab as well as drug rehabs, Through our alcohol rehab clinic. Call now for the best addiction help in the UK

Source : [ Middlegate Blog]

Who Will Look After Your Kids While You Are In Rehab?

If you have been struggling with alcohol addiction for a long time and have made the decision to get help, you will probably be advised to enter a residential treatment programme. This type of programme has a high success rate because of the intensive treatment provided. However, for single parents, the decision to get inpatient treatment can be a difficult one, especially if you are worried about who will look after your children.

You may be aware that it is in yours and your children’s best interests to seek help for your addiction, but you may feel as though you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Your addiction may be ruining your life and having a detrimental effect on your children but you may feel as though leaving them even for a short period could be traumatic. So what are your options?

Think Carefully

Although you may be worried about the effect it will have on your kids, the reality is that leaving them for a while will undoubtedly be less traumatic than them continuing to live with your addiction. Left untreated, your addiction will simply get worse and could have a devastating impact on your health. Imagine how traumatic it would be for your children if they were to lose you to this illness. It is better to get help now than to have them live with the consequences further down the road.

Family Help

If you want to get better then you will need to think about childcare arrangements for the time you will be in rehab. You may be worried about asking family members for help, but you might be surprised at their willingness to lend a hand. It may be that the other parent will be willing to take the children until you are well enough to have them back, or maybe their grandparents on either side could help.

If you have siblings or close friends, they could all take turns helping with looking after the children for you. At the end of the day, they will want to make sure you get the help you need and will more than likely want to do all they can to make this a reality.

Foster Care
If you do not have family members or close friends to call upon to help take care of your children, then foster care may be an option. This may not be something that you want to consider, but you may have little choice if you want to get better. It is important to realise that foster carers in the UK have been very carefully vetted before being approved. Their backgrounds have been thoroughly checked, and you can rest assured that your children will be in safe hands. Both carers and social workers will look them after during their time in care; in many cases, foster care is the perfect solution.

In almost every situation, it is preferable for children in care to return to their birth families, so the foster carers and social workers will work closely with you to ensure that your kids are returned to you as soon as you are well enough to take them back.

Outpatient Treatment

If you really do not like the idea of putting your children in care and have no one else to take care of them, it may be worth looking for a good outpatient programme where you can attend therapy during the day while your children are at school or nursery.

For help and information on the best treatment centres for your requirements, call Middlegate today. We can provide free, independent advice as well as assessments and referrals based on your individual circumstances. We are here to help, and your wellbeing is our priority.

If you need help in the london area, then please contact us for information on the latest information on places in london alcohol rehabs as well as greater lodnon drug rehabs, Through our alcohol rehab clinic.

This article originally published at Middlegate Blog here

How Alcohol Addiction Can Destroy Lives

Alcohol addiction is a major problem in the UK. The global recession has led to a number of people suffering financial hardship and facing growing amounts of debt. This financial strain can be hugely stressful, and, therefore, many individuals are self-medicating with substances such as drugs and alcohol.

What may have started as a glass of wine at the end of a long day could have developed into a bottle of wine every night when the kids are in bed. Some will find that they spend much of their waking hours either drinking or thinking about when they can get their next drink.

Once they have become tolerant to the effects of alcohol, they will require more and more to experience the same feelings; this is when addiction has become a problem. Many people do not even realise they have developed a dependency on alcohol until they try to give it up and start suffering withdrawal symptoms.

Why Do People Drink Alcohol

Alcohol addiction affects individuals of all ages, regardless of gender, background, or race. There are various reasons why people drink alcohol, but it is a socially acceptable vice in most countries. Most drink alcohol in moderation, but there are a number who drink alcohol to excess and develop addictions.

Alcohol addiction occurs when someone loses control over the amount of alcohol he or she drinks. Those affected become dependent on alcohol and cannot function without it. Many drink to blot out the pain of a previous experience or loss. Others drink because it helps them cope with the stresses of everyday life.

How Alcohol Addiction Affects Family Life

As well as having a detrimental effect on the person with the addiction, alcohol addiction also negatively affects their family members. Living with an alcoholic can be extremely stressful, with many family members admitting that they are living in constant fear of how their addicted loved one will behave. They may also be fearful of conflict as alcoholics can often become aggressive and violent.

Children of alcoholics may experience feelings of sadness, loneliness, despair, and exclusion. They may be embarrassed that their mum or dad acts the way they do and will avoid bringing friends home for fear their situation will be discovered. These children are often neglected and have to learn to fend for themselves from a very young age. This can cause numerous problems in later life.

Alcohol addiction can also cause a number of health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, liver disease, infertility, pancreatitis and some forms of cancer. Those with severe alcohol addictions can do irreversible damage to their liver and are unable to get a liver transplant because of their addiction.

Home life is often damaged beyond repair too, with many marriage breakdowns resulting from one spouse’s addiction. Those who suffer from an addiction may become self-absorbed and will have little time for others, including their loved ones. They may neglect relationships with their spouse or partner and with their children.

Alcohol addiction can affect a person’s ability to work and, therefore, financial hardship typically follows, leaving the family in an even more precarious position. It is not uncommon for family life to completely break down because of one person’s addiction to alcohol.

Help is Available

It is important that those with an addiction to alcohol get the help they need as soon as possible. Middlegate is here to provide free advice and support to those who need it. We work with addicts and their families to ensure they get access to the treatments that could turn their lives around. If you or a loved one needs help for addiction, contact Middlegate today.

If you need help in the london area, then please contact us for information on the latest information on places in london alcohol rehabs as well as greater lodnon drug rehabs, Through our alcohol rehab clinic.


This article originally published at Middlegate Blog here