Will an Alcohol Relapse Hurt those Around You?

One of the biggest fears amongst those who are attempting to recover from an alcohol addiction is the risk of hurting those around them. They do not want a relapse to cause people to pity them or feel as if they have failed them in some way. This applies to both family members and the people who they are trying to recover alongside.

In this article, we are going to discuss the issue of alcohol rehab and alcohol relapses. Let us take a closer look at it.

The General Perception

The general perception amongst people is that they are going to potentially affect their recovery partners if they fail. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. Firstly, it is thought that the fear of letting everyone else down will serve as some sort of motivator. The problem is if it does go wrong and the person relapses it could make them feel that much worse about it.

Staying Strong
Contrary to popular belief, it is not always the case that people will collapse alongside whoever has relapsed. Drug rehab breeds a culture of support. When someone fails, the chances are everyone else will close ranks and attempt to help the person. They will actually take their attention away from their cravings in order to help them. In other words, a slip here and there does not have to mean causing a significant amount of damage to others. It can actually make everyone else stronger.

Should You Tell Someone You Have Had a Relapse?

It is not uncommon to see people deciding to suffer in silence when they relapse. They do not want to go through what they see as the humiliation of telling their support group what has happened. The belief goes that they are doing a good thing by doing this. In reality, they are only reducing their chances of success in the future. By bottling up these feelings, it allows the negativity to grow. When people allow negative thoughts to fester, the chances of a further relapse increases.

Always seek professional help when experiencing a relapse. Yes, it will mean that other people will know about what’s happened, but that is not a bad thing. It is a good thing. Someone who can be honest with themselves and those around them is a strong individual. They can cope with the realities of their situation. Not being able to cope with what is going on is an example of what got the person stuck in an addiction rut in the first place.

You Are Not Responsible

Nobody should ever feel as if they are responsible for someone else’s recovery. This does not mean nobody should care about anyone else. It means if someone relapses,that is his or her problem. They did it to themselves. They have to take responsibility for their actions. Unless someone else tipped a bottle of beer down their throats, this was a decision they made.

One of the biggest mistakes any alcoholic can make outside of rehab clinics is to make themselves believe that their actions will affect upon another person’s recovery journey.

Middlegate have worked with hundreds of rehab clinics in the UK. Through their experiences, they can show you how to use alcohol rehab to turn your life around.


This article originally published at Middlegate.co.uk Blog here

Is There a Difference Between Helping and Enabling?

If you are the parent of a child that has an addiction, you will probably want to do everything in your power to help. Even if that child is married with children of his or her own, you will still worry and will be devastated to see him or her struggling in this way. However, it is important to realise that there is a very fine line between helping and enabling.

Your child may have no money and no opportunity to get credit anymore, so you may be tempted to help out financially. You may have already been doing this for some time, but this is not always the best idea. The problem that many parents face is that they do not want to see their child struggling financially if they feel they can help. This is even more of an issue when children are involved.

Are You Enabling Your Child?

If you are giving your child financial help, you have to ask yourself whether or not this kind of help is allowing him or her to carry on with the addiction. You may have decided that instead of giving money to your child you will take care of their grocery shopping each week. This may sound the perfect solution because you will be providing your child and his or her family with essential items but you are not providing money that could be spent on the addiction.

Nevertheless, by taking care of this expense, you are giving your child the opportunity to spend money elsewhere. Instead of having to put money aside for groceries, your child can now spend that money on gambling, alcohol, drugs or whatever it is that he or she is addicted to.

It would be far better to do things such as offer lifts to meetings if needed or take care of their kids when necessary. You can also help him or her to manage the money coming in and going out of the home so that the family can get back on track financially. And offering support throughout drug and/or alcohol rehab and recovery is another way to help.

Being Cruel to be Kind

The important thing to remember as a parent of an addict is that your child needs to learn how to stand on his or her own two feet. While your natural instincts may be to help, you may be doing more harm than good by doing so.

You might feel guilty for taking a step back but, in most instances, this is the best way to handle the situation. Let him or her start taking care of managing the issue of recovery. Do what you can to get your child to accept that help is needed, and help find the best treatment centre for this. Nonetheless, once his or her treatment has started, it is a good idea to let him or her manage it. The more you do for your child, the less he or she will do.

It is tough for parents to take a step back and to see their child struggling, but in many cases, this ‘cruel to be kind’ approach will work and will encourage your child to take control of his or her life again.

Make Treatment a Condition of Help

If you want your child to get help for addiction, you can help but you should make sure that he or she understands that you expect some guarantee on their part. You should make a commitment to treatment a condition of any help you offer, and instantly stop helping if your child decides to stop attending meetings or going to counselling sessions. Make sure that help is not something that could enable his or her addiction.

This article originally published at middlegate.co.uk -  Rehab Clinics Blog here
https://www.middlegate.co.uk/is-there-a-difference-between-helping-and-enabling/

The Lies and Excuses of Alcoholics Revealed

Dealing with someone who is addicted to alcohol presents a whole raft of challenges. They are not themselves. You will have to put up with someone who consistently lies about their addiction and makes up excuses as to why they have not looked at getting into rehab yet. If you are going to convince them to get help, you need to know about the most common lies and excuses they are likely to use.

With the aid of http://www.middlegate.co.uk/rehab-clinics/ , we are going to look at some of the most common lies and excuses alcoholics use.

"It’s Just to Stay Social"

Someone who implies that they drink in order to have a social life is lying through their teeth. One of the main flaws of this argument is the fact that nobody needs alcohol in order to talk to someone. They are clearly not friends if you need alcohol to drink with them. Furthermore, alcohol often promotes isolationism, so it is a contradiction in itself.

"I’m Not Hurting Anyone, so I Don’t Have to Stop"

This is completely wrong because alcoholism hurts everyone around the alcoholic. First of all, drug rehab clinics regularly take in alcoholics who are practically on the verge of death. They are hurting themselves internally by continuing to drink.

Alcoholism also places a great strain on personal relationships. People who are in the midst of an addiction change because of their habits. Mood swings are common and the person often becomes extremely irritable. Someone who cares about the state of his or her family should always look to quit alcohol.

The biggest reason why alcoholics say this is that they need to reassure themselves that their actions are not hurting anyone.

"I’m Depressed"

This is an excuse wrapped in a plea for help. Depression is no excuse for drinking large amounts of alcohol. It is true that depression does go hand-in-hand with alcohol, but this is usually caused because the person has started to drink, rather than vice-versa.

Even if the person is depressed before they drink, alcohol only makes the problem worse. Someone who has mild depression will often suffer from major depression after he or she starts to drink. Depression is not an excuse to avoid seeking help;it is another reason why someone should start to find help.

"I Need it for Work"
You will find someone wrapping this excuse up with the need to relax. Whilst many people do find they need to have a few drinks after work, an alcoholic will always take it too far and come home drunk. In rare cases, someone may drink because of the stress of work. In this case, you need to help them change their work situation. Again, this is not an excuse to become an alcoholic. It is a sign that someone needs an escape from the current reality to simply function.

When someone tells you one of these lies or excuses, you should use it as a chance to point them towards getting help. It will take time, but you will reach a point where they become more receptive to your ideas. Remember, the worst thing you can do is to accept these excuses as gospel. Do not turn away from the problem!

Middlegate has helped thousands of alcoholics get into rehab. They can show you how to convince the person you love to seek help from drug rehab clinics.

How to Handle Low Days During Recovery

Living in the grip of addiction can be devastating for all involved. Those who suffer from addiction can find it hard to break the habit, and those who love them suffer the heartbreak of seeing their loved one in such despair.

Getting help for addiction is important but many addicts are reluctant to accept that they either have a problem or that they need external help. Many are unwilling to try rehab because they are afraid that it will be too painful or that they might not succeed. Others believe it is better to not try than to try and fail.

However, there are some who get to a point when they know they need help. They have reached their low point, and they are ready to make a positive change to their lives. These individuals may be prepared to accept help and are optimistic about their future sober life. This positive attitude can be hugely important in terms of a successful recovery, but it is common for these feelings of positivity to subside once the person is living their new sober life.

Ups and Downs

Those in recovery tend to have great days and then have days when they are feeling low. During these low periods, it is easy to feel disheartened but it is important to realise that these feelings are normal. However, if you notice that the low periods are lasting longer than the good periods, you may be in danger of relapse. It is vital that you learn how to get past these bad times by focusing on the good things in your life.

Learn to Love Your Life
One of the reasons you may feel down is because you are unable to appreciate the good things in your life. It is important to learn how to be grateful for the things you do have rather than focusing on those you don’t. It is easy to take things for granted, so learning how to appreciate your blessings may help you get your life back on track when you are feeling down.

Spend More Time with Those Who Inspire You

There are no doubt people in your life who inspire you, or maybe you have met someone in recovery who motivated you to get through your rehabilitation. If this is the case then spending time with these individuals is an excellent way to keep you on the straight and narrow. Try to avoid spending time with negative individuals as this can make you feel even more down and prevent you from enjoying the fact that you are proof that successful recovery is possible.

Read about Other People’s Recovery Journeys

Inspirational stories of other recovering addicts can be immensely powerful and can help you to remember why you wanted to be sober in the first place. There are many books available that document people’s stories but there are also plenty of options online including blogs, YouTube videos, and podcasts. Take the time to read about other people’s journeys as this can motivate you and inspire you to stay healthy and sober.

Think About What You Want from Life

You may have set yourself the goal of getting sober and, now you have reached that goal, you may be wondering what to do next. Think about the plans you had for yourself before you became addicted and maybe you can achieve those once-forgotten goals. Alternatively, set a new goal for yourself and put your energy into achieving your aims. This can be a great way for you to rekindle your positive energy and to focus on something else.

Speak to Someone Who Can Help

If you are still feeling low, talking to a professional can help. Middlegate has a team of experienced advisors and counsellors who can help by providing you with a listening ear. Call today to speak to one of our dedicated members of staff.

This article originally published at Middlegate Blog here

The Truth - What You Need To Stop Doing If You Love an Alcoholic

Loving an alcoholic is one of the most noble and difficult things you could ever do. However, the truth is it is going to take a toll on you. It can even make you question whether you are doing the right thing. It does not matter if your loved one is in alcohol rehab left or not, you need to manage your own emotional health at the same time. Here are some of the things you need to stop doing if you love an alcoholic.

Blaming Yourself : It is easy to blame yourself for someone else's problems. You question whether you have done something that drives them to drink in the first place. It is even worse when the other person claims it is your fault they drink. You need to take this on the chin and believe that it is the alcohol talking. You have done nothing wrong, and you should ignore anything they say whilst they are drunk.

Controlling It : Never try to control someone else's drinking. You will run yourself into the ground trying to do it. Your loved one needs a professional drug rehab centre for something like this. The chances are each time you try to control it they will resist and it will only convince them to keep on drinking. Your best option is to let them go and keep trying to convince them to seek help.

Curing It : Even if your loved one is willing to let you help them cure their alcoholism, you must not do this. Helping them can cause additional medical complaints that you will not be able to handle. Are you going to have the power to control someone who is caught in the middle of a relapse? The chances are you will not. Never try to cure alcoholism. Point them in the right direction for where they can get the help they really need.

Don't Accept It : We have discussed the importance of not trying to act against someone who drinks heavily. What we also need to reinforce is that you should not accept abusive behaviour or the fact they want to drink themselves to death. Do not lose hope with them and do not give up on them. Keep trying to convince them to find help. If the relationship does become abusive, you need to consider yourself first. You always have choices available to you and you should not feel obligated to stick around if someone does become abusive. Keep trying to help them, but do not put yourself in harm's way in the process.

Enabling Them : Loved ones often fall victim to enabling the ones they love. Rehab clinics commonly have to educate families on how they should behave around someone who is afflicted with alcoholism. There are many ways you can enable someone. It can be as simple as giving them money to go to the shops to buy alcohol or as serious as actively supplying them with alcohol. You should not actively try to fight someone away from alcohol, but this does not mean you have to start giving it to him or her as a gift. Enabling acts are not done out of love. They are done out of fear and self-delusion. Do not inadvertently become a supporter of alcoholism.

Top Tips for Staying Alcohol Free After Rehab

Many people mistakenly believe that the journey to becoming addiction free ends when you leave alcohol or drug rehab. This is not the case because there are always triggers that remain in your mind. What you need to understand is that even someone who has stayed sober for decades has the potential for relapse. The difference between them and someone at the beginning of their journey is they know how to handle triggers.

After you leave rehab, you will still experience triggers. This is why we have teamed up with http://www.middlegate.co.uk/ to provide you with some top tips for staying alcohol free after rehab.

Keep Busy at All Times : Always stay busy. If you are not doing anything, the only thing you have to do is drink, and your mind is going to tell you this over and over again. The busiest people do not have enough time to think about alcohol or starting to drink again. This is why alcohol rehab will explain the benefits of getting a job, spending time with friends, and finding a hobby you can dedicate your time to.

Stay in Good Health : Believe it or not, other physical issues can drive people to drink. This is why clinics often prescribe courses that include exercise. People who are tired, hungry, or lonely are more likely to drink than those who are in good health. You need to take care of yourself if you are going to have the mental strength needed to beat this alcohol addiction.

Slipping Away : So you have relapsed and you had a drink of beer? You are rightly feeling angry with yourself, but this does not have to become full-blown abuse again. Get back on the horse and pretend that it never happened. This is not a situation where you have to be an addict or completely sober. Even the strongest people have relapsed before. Be honest with yourself about what happened, talk to a professional about it, and come back to your relapse prevention training.

Talk about your Emotions : Your emotions are not something to be locked away. Not talking about yourself can lead you back into the arms of addiction. This is one of the reasons why people start to drink heavily in the first place. Develop open communication lines with your family members and friends. Always make sure you have someone to talk to.

Think About Using Avoidance Strategies : Try to avoid triggers in the real world. Alcohol is particularly difficult to deal with because it is targeted at us on TV, on billboards, and in magazines. It can be as simple as changing the channel when an advert comes on or changing your commute so you do not pass the local bar. Little things like this are great for avoiding temptation. You are not avoiding your problems by doing this. You are doing the right thing by dealing with potential trigger points. Smart people will not go looking for trouble by exposing themselves to temptation. They will look at where temptation is and turn the other way. Doing this gives you the best chance of success.