Addiction Traits to Ditch in Recovery - and One to Keep

Many family members say that their addicted loved ones are no longer recognisable. The people they love have changed before their eyes and they cannot believe that this is the same person. It is true that addiction can have a profound effect on individuals, and many will pick up certain characteristics along the way. Addicts often learn the skills and traits they need to ensure they can continue with their addictive behaviour, which can lead to them to becoming self-centred and manipulative. They will often lie, steal, cheat and cover up in order to get what they want.

It can be difficult for recovering addicts to simply revert to how they were before they became addicted. Many family members expect to have the old person back once rehab is finished, but this is rarely the case. For many, the traits they have picked up while addicted can become entrenched and they will have to work doubly hard to get rid of them. Below are some of the more common characteristics perfected by addicts.

Dishonesty

Addiction and honesty rarely go hand in hand and many addicts will lie to everyone about their habit. They will not want others to know they are reliant on alcohol or drugs so will make up excuses for their behaviour and may deny any problem exists if challenged. Addicts become expert liars because that is how they survive and how they are able to continue with their destructive behaviour. However, if you are in recovery, you can no longer be dishonest. You must learn to accept any mistakes you make instead of lying about them or covering them up. Learning from your mistakes is a vital process in recovery and one that will stand you in good stead. You will not get better if you continue to lie to others or try to deceive them.

Self-Centredness

Most addicts have perfected this characteristic while they were ill as well as during their early recovery. In fact, recovering addicts are often encouraged to think only of themselves and their recovery during the early days. Nevertheless, you cannot continue in this vein as you move forward. It is now important to start learning how to heal or rebuild relationships with your loved ones. And, you will never make new healthy relationships if you are only focused on yourself and your happiness.

Anger

Many addicts feel anger at their situation and have a long list of people or circumstances to blame for their illness. They often believe themselves to be victims and get angry at the world. It is imperative that you learn how to deal with your anger issues in recovery as this is one emotion that can derail you if you let it.

Trait to Keep

While many of the characteristics you have picked up while addicted should now be dropped, there is one you should look to keep. The living one-day-at-a-time philosophy is one that many addicts will adhere to. Addicts do not look to the future, they simply concentrate on what they can and cannot do that day, such as getting through work in order to have a drink or finding enough money for that day’s fix.

In recovery, it is important to take things one-day-at-a-time too. Recovering addicts need to focus on each day as being another day of sobriety. Nonetheless, the difference is that recovering addicts can and should look to the future. They can start to believe that good things are possible and, the longer they are sober, the more achievable their goals become.

This article originally published at Middlegate Blog here

Staying on Track While in Recovery

One of the biggest fears that a recovering addict will have is that he or she is going to relapse and end up back where they started. If you are a recovering addict, it is important to remember that, especially in the early days of recovery, addiction is an illness that affected you over an extended period of time. If you were drinking alcohol or using drugs for many years, then it is going to take a while for you to get better. Recovery does not happen overnight and you are bound to have periods where you experience intense cravings. However, you do not have to give in to those cravings and you do not have to have a slip-up. Relapse is not inevitable but it is also not uncommon. Many recovering addicts have had a slip-up before getting themselves back on track again.

Beware of Your Emotions

Certain emotions can lead to relapse, so you need to be on the lookout for them and how they make you feel. Dealing with your emotions as they arise is the best way to ensure that you do not give in to them. Fear is a common emotion, and it is a healthy one. If you were not afraid of relapse, then you would be in danger of succumbing to it. Nevertheless, if your fear begins to take over your life, you need to do something about it. You cannot let your fear prevent you from living; if you feel that your fear has become debilitating, you should speak to your counsellor or sponsor.

Resentment is another common emotion that can be hard to let go of. Many recovering addicts cling to their feelings of anger against others but this can prevent you from having true success. Whatever happened in the past should be left in the past. While some people may have hurt you, you have probably done your fair share of hurting too. Learn how to forgive and forget so that you can move on.

Move Forward
If you are feeling guilty about things you have done while you were addicted, this is normal. If you use that guilt to make amends, then this will improve your chances of a successful recovery. Nonetheless, do not dwell any longer than necessary on these feelings of guilt. Make amends to those you have hurt and then move on. Remember that you are not a bad person because you had an addiction. You did not choose to have an addiction, nor did you have any control over your actions when you were addicted.

Addiction affects the brain and changes the way it works. Alcoholics and drug addicts are people with illnesses. These chemical substances can impair the brain and affect behaviour and cause individuals to act in a way they never would when sober.

Telling Others

A primary concern for recovering addicts is whether or not they have to tell others that they are in recovery from addiction. It is natural to be embarrassed or ashamed about your addiction and you may not want to tell others. You do not have to tell everyone about your problems if you do not want to, but many recovering addicts feel that talking about it helps.

These days, there is not as much stigma attached to being an alcoholic or addict. People are more accepting about addiction and realise that it is an illness. It is entirely up to you, but you may be surprised at how understanding others will be. Most people these days know someone who has suffered from some type of addiction. Moreover, you may find that many already had their suspicions that you were suffering from an addiction.

Whatever you decide is your choice. You may not feel ready to talk now, but you may want to open up as time goes on and you feel stronger about your recovery.

This article originally published at middlegate.co.uk -   Alcohol Rehab Clinics Blog here