Most people have a personal perception of what an alcoholic looks like. Those with no experience of this devastating illness imagine alcoholics to be individuals who spend all day long drinking. They may believe that those suffering from alcoholism live on the streets and have no job, but this is far from the norm. The truth is that alcoholism is an illness that affects far more people than most would imagine.
In reality, many individuals around the country are living with this illness everyday but, to everybody else, they look like they have everything. High-functioning addicts can appear to all the world as if they have their life in order, but behind closed doors they struggle to cope.
Hidden Addiction
Rachael Lander, an award-winning cellist from South London, is an example of a high-functioning addict who hid her addiction from those around her. She has now revealed how she was taking bottles of what looked like water on stage with her when she performed. The bottles actually contained vodka, which she was drinking while playing with a professional orchestra. During breaks in her performance in top venues such as The Royal Albert Hall, Rachael would sip on vodka from her ‘water’ bottle.
She said, “I would think ‘I just have to get through to that sip’, that was how I was living. I spent a lot of time in the public toilets of supermarkets putting own brand supermarket vodka into water bottles and then wrapping the glass bottle and putting it in the Tampax bin quietly.”
Excuses
Rachael, like most other alcoholics, found excuses and reasons for her addiction to alcohol and blamed her high-pressured career. She developed a love for the cello at the age of eight and admits she worked really hard to become the best cellist she could possibly be. She said “Sometimes I think it was my first addiction, it gave me an escape from myself.”
As Rachael’s career developed and she began playing in front of large audiences, she started to feel nauseous and anxious. She continued, “When I was sitting in orchestra sections my heart would start beating and I could feel adrenaline like a chemical. I was really conscious of the fact there was lots of people there looking at me and I had to keep my s**t together otherwise everyone would know.”
Heartbreak
Rachael admits that heartbreak at the age of seventeen led her to realise that alcohol could take the edge off her feelings of anxiety and fear. She said, “I thought, ‘hello that’s it’; from that minute the link had been made in my head, you don’t have to take it anymore, you can feel like this, I used to take it like medicine.”
She began taking vodka with her to calm her nerves and, as she puts it, ‘be able to function’. Nevertheless, this soon led to her drinking throughout the day without realising she had a problem. She said that one of the biggest tragedies surrounding alcoholism is that the person affected tends to be the only one who doesn’t realise they have the issue.
Rachael is not the first alcoholic to self-medicate with alcohol or to be oblivious to the fact that she even had a problem. And, unfortunately, she will not be the last. These are common traits among those affected by alcoholism, but the good news is that help is available through alcohol rehabs and addiction advice organisations.
Middlegate is currently working with people affected by all types of addiction. If you or someone you love needs help for an addiction, you can contact us here at Middlegate today. We will provide you with information and can answer any questions you may have.
Source: https://www.middlegate.co.uk/the-tragedy-of-alcoholism/
